Chairs That Blend Almost Perfectly

Disclaimer: The last post (written sooo many months ago) was bogas, I'd never be able to write something so organized and thought out. This post will have nothing to do with that, but will instead continue on as previous posts that don't make any sense.

And so here we are, you me and this horribly white-balanced picture of chairs that blend almost perfectly with the wall. A picture that was mostly likely taken while I was being paid $10.00 an hour to  roll out pizza crusts, but was instead, sitting next to my boss. Who would have thought that in the split second it took me to take this picture, I would be reminiscing over it months later. I wouldn't have thought that, not in a million years. The picture clearly meant nothing to me because I found it on an old memory card that contained even older pictures of Evan and I. Those I deleted within seconds, that didn't hurt as much as seeing this one. This picture, I looked at for  a good ten minutes before it ended up here, on this screen, with words beneath it. Not to mention, on a blog that I haven acknowledged for over 6, 7... 8 months. I've clearly got something to overcome here. ..... ... . .. Obviously, the chairs aren't what weigh heavy on my heart. 

(to be continued, maybe)






Anna.

My Eyes

Everyone has that something about them that gives them away. Mine are my eyes. Fortunately  I don't think I'm the only one that struggles with this. My eyes give me away, almost every time. I can't say this is a curse, in most situations, I appreciate this about myself. Because sometimes, I need someone and most times, my eyes are a great indicator and someone usually puts their shoulder out for me to lean on.

I am usually able to hide my weakness, but my eyes will forever give me away.

Tonight was a perfect example. No one commented on my eyes, but I could feel the weakness in my eyes become heavier and heavier through out the night and soon enough, someone was there to ease my pain. Not that I'm able to be specific about the situation, but I'll just say this, I am grateful that my eyes became heavy tonight and I am thankful that someone saw this.

Thank you to this person. I needed you so much tonight and you were there just in the right moment. Thank you, eyes for becoming heavy. I know without this attribute, I would still be struggling to get by.







Anna.

I Wouldn't Call It Sad, Just Low

Maybe it's because it's April and there's another six inches of snow on the ground, or maybe because I've been listening to the Bon Iver Pandora station more often. I guess it could be because I'm so tiered these days, or because I'm not all that great at handeling major life changes. To be completely honest, it must be a mixture of all of these things. It just must be... because I'm feeling rather low right now. .

What does "low" even mean? Different things to different people I'm sure. But to me it means feeling like nothing. Feeling like the whole world around you is spinning at a million miles a minute but you're just sitting there, wondering what to do with yourself, but never acting on it. It's almost like I just feel slow. Slow and Low. Almost sounds like a movie title about a drug addict's every day life. 

I can't go into detail, that would be silly of me. But there are so many positive/exciting things happening around me and all I can do is say, "mehh" to all of them. I just don't care all that much. (But obviously there's a part of me that does, let's be honest). 

And ya know what, sometimes I do actually get a hint of sad. And I hate it. Growing up I've always had a love/hate relationship with being sad. No one likes being sad, I get that, but I always thought it was good for the soul to be sad sometimes. But let me tell you, that just gets confusing when it's happening. I know I'm sad, I don't like it, but I feed off of it. That can't be healthy. 

This is a confusing post, I just read the previous four paragraphs and I don't even get it. So good luck my friend. Forgive me for the way I write; it can't be all that easy to follow. I guess that's why I never tried writing in other blogs I had. Pictures were always the way to go, but give me a break, I'm trying to expand my horizons. Crawl out of my comfort zone a little. 

But I'm going to stop before this get's any more out of hand than it already has. 

Anna. 

Sometimes I Forget

I forget a lot of things, a lot of the time. But sometimes I forget how many amazing people I have the privilege of sharing this crazy life with but then I usually remember and I smile. One of those people reminded me tonight of how lucky I am to have her in my life; I won't name names or say anything to make it obvious. She didn't do anything outrageous or unforgettable tonight, in fact, she wouldn't even know, but she put a smile on my face and I just wanted to tell all of you how grateful I am for her. So thanks, you. I'm happy you're apart of my life.

What else can I say?

I've been busy, but I haven't yet forgotten about the blog! I think about it a whole lot actually. Little things throughout the day make me want to jump on a computer and write about them. I just literally don't ever get to a computer. But hey, here I am, typing away and it feels nice.

Here's something, my niece is going to turn ONE in a few days. I haven't talked much about her, but the little one stole my heart last year and I couldn't be a more crazy-obssesed-spoiling-grateful-aunt if I tried. She's the light of my life and not a single day goes by that I don't think of her. Another one of those people I am overly thankful to have in my life.

So, here's to you, everyone. Thanks for anything and everything you may have or might do sometime. I am thankful for you. Good relationships are like nothing else.


Anna.

(No picture today, I don't have the energy. But thanks for reading!)