We moved to Colorado Springs, CO December of 2014. Arrived just a few days short of 2015. It's been the most intense experience of my short life thus far. It's been full of laughs, tears and most importantly lessons.
Why did we move? Absolutely no reason whatsoever. Nothing in particular. I think what it was.... was I was feeling overwhelmed with a few different things happening in my life. I was feeling anxious, angry... bored? I don't necessarily know what for sure made us move.. but we did it.
It's March 2nd, seven minutes short of 11:00PM and I just needed an outlet. Somewhere to puke a few words out. Like a diary, but I didn't feel like writing.. so like most posts, this is a typing version of my diary, journal more so. Maybe a few other eyes will cross over it and indulge, if you're into this sort of thing.
So, a few things this move has taught me;
-I make HUGE life changing choice way to quick. Not really saying it's a bad thing. For sure not the most convenient characteristic about me, but it's not actually bad. (Aaron's to show for that)
-I have way to many.. things.
-My two younger sisters have way more of an impact on my daily life than I could have ever imagined. Until that is, I moved 1000 some miles away.
-I LOVE hiking. (this is huge if you know me at all)
-Brothers are a lot harder to please than sisters when it comes to anything emotional.
-Minnesota nice is real. It's a very real thing.
-Colorado air is actually noticeably nicer than Minnesota air. Unlike the people.
-Aaron and I can for sure overcome anything.
-Distance from people you've known your whole life is a really good thing. Really good.
-Finding a job as a server is harder than I remember.
-Winter is freaking fantastic in this state. I got called off work for bad weather... bad weather you guys. Weather got me a day off........ this is huge. More than once in a week!!
-Gas stations are weird in Colorado.
-I love watching someone who has never been poor... be poor. It's cool to witness harsh realizations when they're happening to someone else for the first time. (in a very twisted manner).
-Netflix... So.Much.Netflix.
-I miss my moms cooking. Granted I only had it once or twice a week back in Minnesota ;)
-Famous Dave's is NOT Famous Dave's
-Legalized weed is nothing special. But it is very profitable and nice when you can't fall asleep or have a tummy ache.
-Sunshine, a whole lot of sunshine. Seasonal Affective Disorder... what's that?
-Cigarettes are cheaper, along with gas and other things.
I could go on, but it's not all that important and I'm running out of clever things to say. Overall, this move has been good. A few things have been much harder for me than I anticipated, but I suppose I did expect that. You just don't know until you know.. Aaron and I were just talking today. We are so very happy we did this. Like, we are really proud of ourselves and wouldn't trade a single way things have happened. We do talk about eventually moving back to the good ole MN. I guess I'm not as strong as my Cali sister, I give her some serious credit for being away for 5+ years. I'm just a momma's girl and will have to, sooner or later, be close enough to get that home cooked meal just once or twice a week :) Plus plenty of other reasons, I'm just starving right now so that's all I can concentrate on.
As Aaron pointed out today..... (side note, I was having a tough day)
"Anna, if we would have never moved... just stayed in Stillwater... had a baby.... lived our lives that way... you would have never known. You would have been home one night crying saying you never moved away, never tried anything different.. "
And he's so right. He know's me way... way, way to well. Thank God.
All in all, I'm not making any HUGE LIFE CHANGING decisions for awhile. I'm laying low. Playing things safe... just taking a minute to breathe in and breathe back out.
No promises anytime soon.
Anna.
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Monday, March 2, 2015
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
A Love For Loneliness
I can never get past it, but I don't ever want to. When the room is lit with only the soft light from a small desk lamp and Regina Spektor just happens to pop up on my Pandora, my heart instantly fills full of this strange sorrow. There aren't even words to describe where it puts me. It sends me back to days of heartache and loneliness, but the feeling is so, so full of beauty. I hate to sound dramatic, but it's the only way to describe it, in a very large, unfamiliar nutshell.
But I love it. I long for the feeling when things seem to become too routine, too normal. It's the reason I keep a "Norah Jones" station on my Pandora. And the reason I lock myself in a small room with just the glow of a lamp. I love the bittersweet feeling of it.
And sometimes I just have to be dramatic and indulge in these feelings. I have to listen to this music and embrace the memories that come flooding back into my head and heart. Then as those pass, this wonderful feeling of nothing overflows me and I am filled with peace. It's here that I connect best with myself and where I am able to think with a clear head. I am able to have those much needed conversations with my thoughts and just think for me. It's in these moments that I do nothing for anyone but all for myself.
It's a time for nothing.
Anna.
But I love it. I long for the feeling when things seem to become too routine, too normal. It's the reason I keep a "Norah Jones" station on my Pandora. And the reason I lock myself in a small room with just the glow of a lamp. I love the bittersweet feeling of it.
And sometimes I just have to be dramatic and indulge in these feelings. I have to listen to this music and embrace the memories that come flooding back into my head and heart. Then as those pass, this wonderful feeling of nothing overflows me and I am filled with peace. It's here that I connect best with myself and where I am able to think with a clear head. I am able to have those much needed conversations with my thoughts and just think for me. It's in these moments that I do nothing for anyone but all for myself.
It's a time for nothing.
Anna.
hoy en día en fotos (10)
5:12AM
Anna.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Sunday, February 23, 2014
A Heart-Wrenching Night
Sometimes it takes the hardest talks to ease a heavy heart. A lot of times, really. But in the end, like the very end of time, whenever that will come.. those hard nights and talks will seem like nothing. Like a blink in time. It's what I have to keep telling myself.. because to live in fear and to live with a heavy heart is no way to live at all. Living in happiness is much more fulfilling and pleasant.
Tonight I told my best friend, my roommate. I am going to marry the boy I meet only eight months ago. I told her I was marrying him in less than eleven days. A conversation that should have happened months ago, happened tonight. It was hard. Harder than I expected and both were hurt. In different ways, but hurt is hurt and it.. just fucking hurts.
So. I'm sorry best friend. I'm sorry I haven't been anywhere close to even a friend. And I thank you for being so kind to me, even when I don't deserve it.
I hope we make this work. Because in the end, it'd be a lot nicer to go out knowing we were friends through what will be such a minor "heart-wrenching" night.
But heavy shit sucks. Lets just smoke a cigarette and be friends again. Because frankly, we're not high-school friends. We're better than that.
(a much happier, less heavy-hearted ) Anna.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
hoy en día en fotos (7)
8:49AM
Anna.
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