Moved to Colorado

We moved to Colorado Springs, CO December of 2014. Arrived just a few days short of 2015. It's been the most intense experience of my short life thus far. It's been full of laughs, tears and most importantly lessons.

Why did we move? Absolutely no reason whatsoever. Nothing in particular. I think what it was.... was I was feeling overwhelmed with a few different things happening in my life. I was feeling anxious, angry... bored? I don't necessarily know what for sure made us move.. but we did it.

It's March 2nd, seven minutes short of 11:00PM and I just needed an outlet. Somewhere to puke a few words out. Like a diary, but I didn't feel like writing.. so like most posts, this is a typing version of my diary, journal more so. Maybe a few other eyes will cross over it and indulge, if you're into this sort of thing.

So, a few things this move has taught me;

-I make HUGE life changing choice way to quick. Not really saying it's a bad thing. For sure not the most convenient characteristic about me, but it's not actually bad. (Aaron's to show for that)

-I have way to many.. things.

-My two younger sisters have way more of an impact on my daily life than I could have ever imagined. Until that is, I moved 1000 some miles away.

-I LOVE hiking. (this is huge if you know me at all)

-Brothers are a lot harder to please than sisters when it comes to anything emotional.

-Minnesota nice is real. It's a very real thing.

-Colorado air is actually noticeably nicer than Minnesota air. Unlike the people.

-Aaron and I can for sure overcome anything.

-Distance from people you've known your whole life is a really good thing. Really good.

-Finding a job as a server is harder than I remember.

-Winter is freaking fantastic in this state. I got called off work for bad weather... bad weather you guys. Weather got me a day off........ this is huge. More than once in a week!!

-Gas stations are weird in Colorado.

-I love watching someone who has never been poor... be poor. It's cool to witness harsh realizations when they're happening to someone else for the first time. (in a very twisted manner).

-Netflix... So.Much.Netflix.

-I miss my moms cooking. Granted I only had it once or twice a week back in Minnesota ;)

-Famous Dave's is NOT Famous Dave's 

-Legalized weed is nothing special. But it is very profitable and nice when you can't fall asleep or have a tummy ache.

-Sunshine, a whole lot of sunshine. Seasonal Affective Disorder... what's that?

-Cigarettes are cheaper, along with gas and other things.


I could go on, but it's not all that important and I'm running out of clever things to say. Overall, this move has been good. A few things have been much harder for me than I anticipated, but I suppose I did expect that. You just don't know until you know.. Aaron and I were just talking today. We are so very happy we did this. Like, we are really proud of ourselves and wouldn't trade a single way things have happened. We do talk about eventually moving back to the good ole MN. I guess I'm not as strong as my Cali sister, I give her some serious credit for being away for 5+ years. I'm just a momma's girl and will have to, sooner or later, be close enough to get that home cooked meal just once or twice a week :) Plus plenty of other reasons, I'm just starving right now so that's all I can concentrate on.

As Aaron pointed out today..... (side note, I was having a tough day)


"Anna, if we would have never moved... just stayed in Stillwater... had a baby.... lived our lives that way... you would have never known. You would have been home one night crying saying you never moved away, never tried anything different.. "


And he's so right. He know's me way... way, way to well. Thank God.



All in all, I'm not making any HUGE LIFE CHANGING decisions for awhile. I'm laying low. Playing things safe... just taking a minute to breathe in and breathe back out.


No promises anytime soon.





Anna.

N/A

//

The eyes, that at almost any given moment are warm, filled with welcome and willing, fell weary in a memory. 

A body usually bold and bright went limp in that moment, remembering the day his knees became weak. 

He, my hero, became half while his eyes closed and body sank into the dirt beneath his clenched fists. 

// 

8-24-14 

To my Aaron, 

You inspire me. You demonstrate such strength, every minute of everyday. You walk through life with the utmost ultimate grace. Even on the hardest days. You amaze me with every step you take. You are my best friend, confidant,  inspiration, strength, soul-mate and husband. You are my reason to pursue anything and everything without fear. 

I love you. 

hoy en día en fotos (14)

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Anna. 

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Anna. 

I Can Barley Keep My Cards Straight

Sometimes after I write a post I'll go back through some of my old ones. So I did that tonight, and I realized that my most recent post, before this one, is extremely confusing/ and a little contradicting to a few posts ago. So, take this as you will, but I formally apologize for how confusing I can get at times. Just to clarify, I will most likely be moving out of this apartment come August, it just hasn't been finalized, nor have we found an apartment, hence the "maybe moving" and the "will miss this apartment come August" line(s). I get ahead of myself a lot.

Forgive me. (Also, I didn't sign my last post, and I was doing really good on that)





Anna.






*And I've seen Evan since that old post. I was just being dramatic that night. Psht. 

My Mom

Mom & I Right Before My Surgery

Mothers day is a little funny to me. Because, frankly, I celebrate my mom everyday. I wouldn't be who I am without her being the woman she is, actually I wouldn't be anything if it weren't for her, if we're going to get technical. But who am I to say much because look at me write a post on Mothers Day... I guess it's just a good reminder for us all to sit back and really appreciate the moms in our lives. 

I couldn't write my feelings towards my mom even if I wanted to. There's just so much to say and there really isn't a good enough way to say it. My mom is my everything. I hate to be vague  but to state the truest truth, it's all I can say. I am just so overjoyed that some crazy creator out there decided that this woman would bring me into this world and would raise me to be who I am. And I'm even more thankful that life has granted us the relationship it has. We've been through hell and back, but no matter what, when I need, like really need a pair of arms to fall into, she seems to always be no more than a few feet away. I am truly the luckiest daughter on the planet, along with my four sisters. 

So thank you, Mom. Thank you for being exactly who you are. You are strong, beautiful, caring, loving, compassionate, funny, spirited, and the very best mom I could ever dream of. 

Sometimes mom says I'll never know how much she really loves me, but I think she forgets that she'll never truly know how much I love her, because with each day, I feel as if I love her more than I did the day before. 

Happy Mothers day, mom! (Especially my mom) 

Anna.

*And she really is always right there when I desperately need her. She showed up at work just the other day when I was about to break! Out of the blue.... I couldn't believe it. 

A Big Reason Why

I think I've made myself pretty clear on why I've started blogging again. Wouldn't you agree? Well, I haven't told you what the kicker was and I'm about to. I splurged and bought an iMac; I just couldn't resist and when I was approved for a payment plan not buying one was just totally out of the question. So short story even shorter, I got in my car Sunday morning, drove to the nearest Apple retail store and was in an out within ten minutes stumbling through the mall parking lot with a 27inch Apple iMac. Needless to say, after setting the beauty up the urge only became stronger. I mean what else can you do with a 27inch beautiful desktop. I'm in love. 

Also, I'm not sure if I've mentioned it before, but I'm slowly creeping my way back into photography, if you dare call what I take pictures of, photography. But working at a desktop alone makes that aspect 100 percent better and when it's a mac it really does put a cherry on top. People think desktops are lame and I was told to "just get a laptop" a million times, but I seem to be much more productive on a desktop, and who doesn't want to be productive? Not that I have much technically to be productive with, but when I do regain that responsibility, I am so ready. 

Plus, she just adds so much to this small apartment. Literally, even the box puts a smile on my face; that's why I keep it in the closet, yes. 

Anyone out there own an iMac? Do you love yours as much as I love mine? Ever regret it? (Don't tell me, I don't need to hear that crazy talk)

Anna.

Oh Sleep, Why Aren't We Friends?

Once upon a time I was a morning person and I think I still kind of am, but holy smokes it takes me a long time to get my bum out of bed in the morning. Waking up was once my favorite part of the day, it felt so fresh and exciting but now I'm lucky if I fall asleep before three and you would think someone asked me to kill my dog when my alarm goes off. The other morning I thought my world was crashing to the ground when my alarm rang for the fifth time, I probably would have paid to have the clock go back three hours. I just cannot get my sleeping straight. 

Even now. It's 2:55AM and all I want to do is crawl into that bed pictured above, which is literally two steps behind me, but I can't because writing a draft post really seems that much more important. Sick isn't it? Hopefully this blog excitement stops soon because I'm starting to see the lack of sleep in my eyes and no one likes looking into baggy eyes. But in all honesty, it's not just the blog, sleep just doesn't seem like a good use of time these days. There is always something better for me to be doing, such as writing a blog post, cooking late night 'snacks', creating templates for work, cleaning, or listening to music that I haven't had the chance to in years. For real, years. 

I'm almost positive this has to do with every second of daylight hours being spent at work and around people. I've always been an introvert so when the sun goes down and I have a few select hours to myself sleeping doesn't sound so appealing. Unfortunately, sleeping is necessary and without it I may just go nuts. No, I will go nuts, that's for 'effing sure. 

But the thing is I am in love with sleep. I crave it and I know this, I just take it for granted. The upside to writing an entire post about sleep is that I am actually yawning and I think I can take those two steps backwards and crawl into bed finally. Wish me luck in the morning because the thought of that nine hour shift I work tomorrow is making me nauseous. 

Night. 

Anna. 

Helllloo, Sexy.

Well hey. 

I've been contemplating on posting twice in one day because I didn't want to seem eager about this whole "blogging again" deal, but truthfully, I'm pretty freaking excited about it. Why the attractive picture you ask? Well, you see. I think blogging without pictures is boring and very not worth while, so I just took the first thing that came to mind and BAM, here I am. Looking fine and shit. (Fish and mashed potatoes for supper, by the way) 

Moving on. 

Back to that posting twice in one day shhpeal. Back when I blogged the first, second, third.. and so on times, I would always start off posting like two or three posts per day just to make some sort of point, but this time, I think I'll just stick to blogging when I want to. Seems a bit contradicting actually, but I think it's fair. Who really wants to schedule when they blog? That's just crazy and ain't nobody got time for that. Plus, until I have strangers reading this stuff, what do I care about consistency or organization. Don't have high hopes on that changing, ever.

And now for what I really wanted to say. Life is crazy and people do crazy things. I had one of those, "talk-to-yourself-all-day-and-convince-yourself-you're-not-insane" kind of days. Know what I'm talking about? Not that I'm willing to get into any sort of detail about my craziness, but I've come to the conclusion that nothing really matters when it comes to crazy. Nothing really matters in the end really. And I'm not saying that in a depressing kind of way, I mean truthfully, nothing really matters when it's all over. Crazy or not, I just want to be whoever I want to be in this minute. And going back to start, if I want to post twice in one day, who the hell cares? (No one right now, obviously). But for real, this is more for me than it will ever be to anyone and if it helps me sleep at night, I say keep being insane, Anna. You too reader, be crazy. 

Anna 

Happy Birthday, Mom!

It's my mom's birthday today, technically tomorrow but I won't have a second to spare in the
morning, so I'm getting a head start. The few past times I've started blogs, it has always been around someone's birthday. I don't know if that's some sort of subconscious thing, but it always is. Anyways, back to mom. 

That's her up there. Isn't she beautiful? She really is. She's my super hero, that woman. I won't even try to put all she has done into words. The lady is all around amazing. She lives a life to look up to and I wouldn't trade anything in this world to have her any other way. I'm not a very spiritual person, but I do feel blessed beyond belief when it comes to the category of "moms" and who I was put on this earth with. 

Like before, I'm sure anyone reading this knows her; if you know me personally, then you know my mom. She's in my day to day life quite a bit. Sometimes not as much as I wish and other times more than asked for, but every minute with her is a minute I am thankful for. 

Long story short, I love my mom. I can honestly say that she makes my life a good one to live. She always has. She has been my best friend since I can remember and I don't go a day without realizing how truly lucky I am to be her daughter. 

So, here's to you mom;

Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being my mom. You have showed me how to appreciate this life and you continue to teach me the lessons that I know will hold me together as I grow. I hope that one day I do for someone what you have already done for me a million times. You are truly my godsend and I couldn't imagine a life without you as my mom. 

I love you! 

Anna. 

Blogging Again?

Yes! It's true. I'm at it again. If you're reading this and you know me personally you know I've given blogging a shot not once, twice or even three times but more like five or six. But here I am, yet again giving lucky number seven a try.

I don't know why it hasn't stuck in the past, because honestly I really enjoy everything about it. I don't know much about blogging or the set rules, I just like writing and taking pictures, and according to the blogs I follow religiously that is about all there is to it. So friends, lets grab hands and give this time an honest shot. Fingers crossed!

But here's the deal. I have no idea how to adapt a following and that's the awkward part. And truth be told, I'm not here to become some famous blogger, I just want to write, take pictures and maybe have some cool conversations with some cool people. That all being said, I have a plan. Care to hear? I hope so because I'm just going to lay it out on the table.

I'm going to blog, for my enjoyment and my enjoyment only until I feel ready enough to "share" on Facebook or post links on Twitter. So, basically I'm talking to myself here and that's fine with me. I'm down with that. I'll treat it like a journal, I just won't write my darkest secrets or start off with "Dear Diary." That'd be pretty hilarious though, if you ask me.

Also, I'm not grammar freak, so when and if you ever do start reading, don't hate on me because I left out a comma or I used a word wrong, that'd be dumb. And sometimes I'm not consistant and I know that can be frustrating. But I'll try, swear to god. Annnnd, I'm going to blog about things like my days at work or maybe something exciting I don't do all that often. I don't have anything specific to talk about like recipes or fashion and personally I hate reading about that stuff, so hopefully if you do start reading, you aren't looking for anything like that. Cause I don't got it. I also won't ever do "Give Aways" or have ads on my blog. That shit really annoys me. (I swear to, don't let your littles read)

Anyhow. Tag along if you want, if you don't, just don't then. But if you do read, you should leave  some comments so I can convince myself that it isn't just me reading my own posts. I like input, I really do. Share your ideas and tell me what you want to hear about. Just not recipes or fashion.

Adios friends.



Anna.