He's Asleep & Snoring. Loudly.

It's 10:54 on a Tuesday night and Aaron is fast asleep. Pictured above is not right now, but it's about what it looks like. Usually I can fall asleep with him, but my mind is wondering tonight and I've done all the social media besides this one.. So I figured, why the hell not? Right? 

Today's been good. In fact, today has been quote, "the best day of my life." Why you wonder? No reason, I simply woke up next to someone I care about, dearly, and was fortunate enough to go to a job. Like I said, nothing special. But I woke up, I got to live another day and love in it. It's the simplicity of life and the things in it that I am grateful for. Mom and I talked about this topic today. I think she was impressed on my thinking. I like when mom is impressed, it makes me feel good. 

... But enough of enough. It's 11:00 and I've got to fall asleep eventually. Plus, I've got to be prepared for the next best.

Anna ... And Aaron, only cause he's so close, and snoring so loudly.

I Wouldn't Call It Sad, Just Low

Maybe it's because it's April and there's another six inches of snow on the ground, or maybe because I've been listening to the Bon Iver Pandora station more often. I guess it could be because I'm so tiered these days, or because I'm not all that great at handeling major life changes. To be completely honest, it must be a mixture of all of these things. It just must be... because I'm feeling rather low right now. .

What does "low" even mean? Different things to different people I'm sure. But to me it means feeling like nothing. Feeling like the whole world around you is spinning at a million miles a minute but you're just sitting there, wondering what to do with yourself, but never acting on it. It's almost like I just feel slow. Slow and Low. Almost sounds like a movie title about a drug addict's every day life. 

I can't go into detail, that would be silly of me. But there are so many positive/exciting things happening around me and all I can do is say, "mehh" to all of them. I just don't care all that much. (But obviously there's a part of me that does, let's be honest). 

And ya know what, sometimes I do actually get a hint of sad. And I hate it. Growing up I've always had a love/hate relationship with being sad. No one likes being sad, I get that, but I always thought it was good for the soul to be sad sometimes. But let me tell you, that just gets confusing when it's happening. I know I'm sad, I don't like it, but I feed off of it. That can't be healthy. 

This is a confusing post, I just read the previous four paragraphs and I don't even get it. So good luck my friend. Forgive me for the way I write; it can't be all that easy to follow. I guess that's why I never tried writing in other blogs I had. Pictures were always the way to go, but give me a break, I'm trying to expand my horizons. Crawl out of my comfort zone a little. 

But I'm going to stop before this get's any more out of hand than it already has. 

Anna. 

Oh Sleep, Why Aren't We Friends?

Once upon a time I was a morning person and I think I still kind of am, but holy smokes it takes me a long time to get my bum out of bed in the morning. Waking up was once my favorite part of the day, it felt so fresh and exciting but now I'm lucky if I fall asleep before three and you would think someone asked me to kill my dog when my alarm goes off. The other morning I thought my world was crashing to the ground when my alarm rang for the fifth time, I probably would have paid to have the clock go back three hours. I just cannot get my sleeping straight. 

Even now. It's 2:55AM and all I want to do is crawl into that bed pictured above, which is literally two steps behind me, but I can't because writing a draft post really seems that much more important. Sick isn't it? Hopefully this blog excitement stops soon because I'm starting to see the lack of sleep in my eyes and no one likes looking into baggy eyes. But in all honesty, it's not just the blog, sleep just doesn't seem like a good use of time these days. There is always something better for me to be doing, such as writing a blog post, cooking late night 'snacks', creating templates for work, cleaning, or listening to music that I haven't had the chance to in years. For real, years. 

I'm almost positive this has to do with every second of daylight hours being spent at work and around people. I've always been an introvert so when the sun goes down and I have a few select hours to myself sleeping doesn't sound so appealing. Unfortunately, sleeping is necessary and without it I may just go nuts. No, I will go nuts, that's for 'effing sure. 

But the thing is I am in love with sleep. I crave it and I know this, I just take it for granted. The upside to writing an entire post about sleep is that I am actually yawning and I think I can take those two steps backwards and crawl into bed finally. Wish me luck in the morning because the thought of that nine hour shift I work tomorrow is making me nauseous. 

Night. 

Anna.