Thursday, April 11, 2013

I Wouldn't Call It Sad, Just Low

Maybe it's because it's April and there's another six inches of snow on the ground, or maybe because I've been listening to the Bon Iver Pandora station more often. I guess it could be because I'm so tiered these days, or because I'm not all that great at handeling major life changes. To be completely honest, it must be a mixture of all of these things. It just must be... because I'm feeling rather low right now. .

What does "low" even mean? Different things to different people I'm sure. But to me it means feeling like nothing. Feeling like the whole world around you is spinning at a million miles a minute but you're just sitting there, wondering what to do with yourself, but never acting on it. It's almost like I just feel slow. Slow and Low. Almost sounds like a movie title about a drug addict's every day life. 

I can't go into detail, that would be silly of me. But there are so many positive/exciting things happening around me and all I can do is say, "mehh" to all of them. I just don't care all that much. (But obviously there's a part of me that does, let's be honest). 

And ya know what, sometimes I do actually get a hint of sad. And I hate it. Growing up I've always had a love/hate relationship with being sad. No one likes being sad, I get that, but I always thought it was good for the soul to be sad sometimes. But let me tell you, that just gets confusing when it's happening. I know I'm sad, I don't like it, but I feed off of it. That can't be healthy. 

This is a confusing post, I just read the previous four paragraphs and I don't even get it. So good luck my friend. Forgive me for the way I write; it can't be all that easy to follow. I guess that's why I never tried writing in other blogs I had. Pictures were always the way to go, but give me a break, I'm trying to expand my horizons. Crawl out of my comfort zone a little. 

But I'm going to stop before this get's any more out of hand than it already has. 


1 comment:

  1. Keep going. Keep, keep going. Whatever you do, don't stop writing. This is how you will