Showing posts with label n/a. Show all posts
Showing posts with label n/a. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

A Love For Loneliness

I can never get past it, but I don't ever want to. When the room is lit with only the soft light from a small desk lamp and Regina Spektor just happens to pop up on my Pandora, my heart instantly fills full of this strange sorrow. There aren't even words to describe where it puts me. It sends me back to days of heartache and loneliness, but the feeling is so, so full of beauty. I hate to sound dramatic, but it's the only way to describe it, in a very large, unfamiliar nutshell.

But I love it. I long for the feeling when things seem to become too routine, too normal. It's the reason I keep a "Norah Jones" station on my Pandora. And the reason I lock myself in a small room with just the glow of a lamp. I love the bittersweet feeling of it.

And sometimes I just have to be dramatic and indulge in these feelings. I have to listen to this music and embrace the memories that come flooding back into my head and heart. Then as those pass, this wonderful feeling of nothing overflows me and I am filled with peace. It's here that I connect best with myself and where I am able to think with a clear head. I am able to have those much needed conversations with my thoughts and just think for me. It's in these moments that I do nothing for anyone but all for myself.

It's a time for nothing. 




Anna.


hoy en día en fotos (10)

5:12AM 
5:57AM
6:26AM
7:48AM
8:34AM
11:02AM
2:14PM
3:00PM
6:47PM
7:24PM
7:45PM
8:36PM
8:45PM



Anna. 

Monday, February 24, 2014

Sunday, February 23, 2014

A Heart-Wrenching Night

Sometimes it takes the hardest talks to ease a heavy heart. A lot of times, really. But in the end, like the very end of time, whenever that will come.. those hard nights and talks will seem like nothing. Like a blink in time. It's what I have to keep telling myself.. because to live in fear and to live with a heavy heart is no way to live at all. Living in happiness is much more fulfilling and pleasant.

Tonight I told my best friend, my roommate. I am going to marry the boy I meet only eight months ago. I told her I was marrying him in less than eleven days. A conversation that should have happened months ago, happened tonight. It was hard. Harder than I expected and both were hurt. In different ways, but hurt is hurt and it.. just fucking hurts. 

So. I'm sorry best friend. I'm sorry I haven't been anywhere close to even a friend. And I thank you for being so kind to me, even when I don't deserve it. 

I hope we make this work. Because in the end, it'd be a lot nicer to go out knowing we were friends through what will be such a minor "heart-wrenching" night. 


But heavy shit sucks. Lets just smoke a cigarette and be friends again. Because frankly, we're not high-school friends. We're better than that. 





(a much happier, less heavy-hearted )              Anna. 

hoy en día en fotos (8)

8:36AM
9:00AM
9:57AM
1:50PM
2:01PM
2:25PM
3:00PM 
9:34PM 


Anna. 

Saturday, February 22, 2014