A Heart-Wrenching Night

Sometimes it takes the hardest talks to ease a heavy heart. A lot of times, really. But in the end, like the very end of time, whenever that will come.. those hard nights and talks will seem like nothing. Like a blink in time. It's what I have to keep telling myself.. because to live in fear and to live with a heavy heart is no way to live at all. Living in happiness is much more fulfilling and pleasant.

Tonight I told my best friend, my roommate. I am going to marry the boy I meet only eight months ago. I told her I was marrying him in less than eleven days. A conversation that should have happened months ago, happened tonight. It was hard. Harder than I expected and both were hurt. In different ways, but hurt is hurt and it.. just fucking hurts. 

So. I'm sorry best friend. I'm sorry I haven't been anywhere close to even a friend. And I thank you for being so kind to me, even when I don't deserve it. 

I hope we make this work. Because in the end, it'd be a lot nicer to go out knowing we were friends through what will be such a minor "heart-wrenching" night. 

But heavy shit sucks. Lets just smoke a cigarette and be friends again. Because frankly, we're not high-school friends. We're better than that. 

(a much happier, less heavy-hearted )              Anna.